At Least I Used an Oil Pastel - 8" x 10"

"All I want for my birthday is a picture of us, okay? And I mean it, which is how I know I’m actually old."

About a week later, an angel disguised as a man drove me to an undisclosed location in his car, which had too many buttons. I now know the buttons are spiritual portals that were put there by Erato herself, a Greek goddess of literature, science, and the arts who was recently hired by BMW. The car flew us to Blick. We walked in and the angel said, "Okay, get whatever you want." I said, "I’m uncomfortable," and he reminded me that I had mentioned I wanted to pick up oil painting and that we should start there. I said, "Well played," and off to aisle 7A we went.

After stocking up on everything necessary to start oil painting, we grabbed a few acrylic mediums that seemed fun, handmade paper, brushes to replace the ones I loved but accidentally ruined, and a giant, beautiful canvas. I’m sure I've forgotten to include some supplies. The point is, I was spoiled, and I was so grateful and excited, and still am.

I returned home and experimented with the oil paints and mediums, with no clue what I was doing. After a little bit of research, I learned the dangers of oil paints and my only goal was to avoid causing spontaneous combustion. After my first session of fear-based painting, I cleaned up by using oatmeal to absorb the leftover mediums and flammable stuff (I don’t know, it just felt safe), and driven by the need to self-soothe, I sat back down at my art table and found solace in my acrylic paints and fun new papers and mediums. That night, four pieces were born. Here’s the first, named At Least I Used an Oil Pastel.

For the record, I got that picture I asked for, beautifully matted and framed, along with some of my favorite treats and a lovely dinner to follow. I have since given the oil paints another chance and I’m about 10% less afraid of them. I will continue to practice while attempting to avoid a detrimental chemical reaction or poisoning myself. Fun fact: I called Blick before writing this post to ask where their oil paints are located.

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